Satire by Lillpop
To heck with the auto makers, the mortgage brokers, the corrupt Wall Street financial tycoons, and the irresponsible state governors standing in line with pity pots in tow looking for bail outs from Uncle Sam…
Let them all eat Kenyan mud!
Barack Obama has much larger things on his mind and much greater needs to address than a bunch of out of touch weasels with larceny on their agendas.
Specifically, the President-elect has a brother who urgently needs a literal “bail out,” as soon as possible, but no later than the afternoon of January 20, 2009.
That would be one OJ Simpson who was sentenced by an angry white woman judge in Nevada to spend the next fifteen years of his dreary life in public housing provided by the great state of Nevada. Bread and water also provided by the people of Nevada, free gratis.
How angry was the judge?
After listening to OJ grovel and apologize profusely for fifteen minutes while fighting back a well rehearsed weeping , Clark County District Court Judge Jackie Glass appeared unconvinced that OJ’s problems were entirely due to stupidity.
According to Judge Glass, stupidity and greed conspired to juice the “Juice.”
She reminded OJ that guns were involved and that the planning, execution, and post-game celebrations were all carefully preserved on video and telephone recordings.
In other words, a simple “I am sorry, judge” and “I did not mean to harm anybody” were not enough to forgive and forget nine serious felony counts.
After sentencing, OJ’s lawyer tried to effect OJ’s release on bail, presumably to free OJ so that he might resume his dedicated search for those who sliced up Nicole Simpson and Ron Goldberg in 1984, AND to search for the real kidnappers and robbers in the Las Vegas kerfuffel.
Judge Glass was not amused and shouted, “Denied!” before the full plea was voiced by OJ’s attorney.
So now it is up to you President-elect Obama!
Why not start out your administration with a show of compassion for a brother who was railroaded because of his skin color?
And when that presidential mercy has had a chance to resonate, there is the case of Michael Vick, another victim of racist America. Do not forget Plaxico Burress, Mr. President.
Switching to needy black politicians, we have Charles Rangel, William Jefferson, and on and on.
John W. Lillpop is a Capitol Hill Coffee House staff writer.